There are many things I am afraid of:

• Driving on tall bridges - I worry I will get scooped up by the wind and thrown into the water OR that I will accidentally drive through the barrier.
• Swimming in deep waters.
• Jumping off of tall things.
• Snakes.
• Being made a fool of.
• Seeing a police car when I know I am slightly over the speed limit.
• Being rejected.
• When I was in middle school/high school/college: talking to boys.
• Being chased by dogs.
• Driving in icy or inclement weather, including heavy rains.

As I was preparing for Lifegroup this week, I was thinking of these fears a lot. The study? The miracle of Jesus walking on the water. (John 6:16-21) 
Meet the disciples, on a boat, about three and half miles out on the Sea of Galilee. This alone, would be terrifying to me. It's dark, Jesus is no where to be seen, so they start the journey across the sea. And then it hits: a terrible, awful storm. A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough. 
The disciples are doing everything they know to do, to get through it. Some of these guys are fishermen, who have gone through all sorts of rough waters. These guys were spent. Tired. Wet. Afraid. Mark Batterson says in The Grave Robber to imagine the sinking fear coupled with futility.
They saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were frightened. Folks, miracles don't happen when things are hunky-dory. They don't happen in the safe bubble. Batterson says miracles happen when Jesus shows up and shows off.  
But he said to them: "It is I; don't be afraid." Hey guys, remember me? I am right here. I didn't leave you.
***
Through the storms, when we are really afraid and we aren't sure how we will survive or how it will work out: God is there. He does not leave us. When things are at their worse, and God shows up: this is where the miracles live. I've got some storms brewing. Our finances. Family. Work. Everything. It all ebbs and flows the same as any other household. We are always working through one thing or the other. "We" being my husband and I. But, I find often that I forget that God gave me this great partner, who can handle stress better than me. I take it all in, soaking it in like a sponge but left feeling dry and empty. I hold on the idea that I must be brave, I must conquer, I must know it all and handle things perfectly.
It doesn't happen. 
I am always messing things up. I get grouchy. I say the wrong things. I worry. I take on too much, and get exhausted. I forget to rest, to enjoy, to seek the beauty around me. So, I try to avoid the hard stuff AND the fun stuff in an attempt to find some balance or peace that will make feel less disappointing to others or less angry towards others. 
Its not the best thing to do.
Relationships are strained. I am not happy. Its a vicious cycle I desperately want to get out of. I feel like the lone person on the boat, being tossed around. I must recognize all the miracles God is doing in my life and give my praises to Him. 

2015 will always be known as the year the Hubs and I ventured out of our "we-don't-do-costumes" box in a very big, very green way. We've been promising Shrek and Fiona for years, but have always been able to excuse our way out of it.

I think we naturally resemble the famous ogres already. Lovely. 

I confess, I thought we'd be able to get out of doing the costumes when I announced we were going to attend a Children's Ministry Staff Appreciation Party, scheduled for the 30th of October. I asked the Children's Pastor if people were dressing up (see, its my fault), and she was like "oh well, we weren't going to, but since so many people have asked... sure! Why not!"

Oh geesh. So, here we go. I was not about to buy an already made up mask and costume. That's lame. As a kid, my Halloween costumes were always invented with dress up clothes my mom would find at thrift shops (the year my sister and I were "old fashioned movie stars" or whatever was in the closet (the year I was a housewife who apparently lives in a bathroom and a towel on her head.) The best year was when my sister and I dressed as a pair of old ladies. As we trick 'r treated all the old ladies would gush all over us. 

As I got older, I was too cool for costumes or maybe I was just too lazy to put them together. In high school, I dressed like Amber Waves from Boogie Nights. (Yes, every mom wants their Christian daughter to dress like a porn star!) In college, I won a Halloween costume for my carefully put together Pippi Long-stocking ensemble. I am noticing as I write, that a lot of my costumes are of famous redheads. Maybe next year I will be Lucille Ball. 

Two sets of green Ogre ears. DONE! HOW I DID IT: Crayola's green Model Magic  
Green, bald head for Shrek DONE! Bald cap with green face paint smeared all over it. 
Brown vest for Shrek. DONE! HOW I DID IT: brown felt, a history of Project Runway, needle and thread, and Aileen's Tacky Glue
Green Velvet Dress for Fiona. DONE! HOW I DID IT: Several years ago, I was blessed with a box of clothes from someone who had lost a ton of weight, and thought I could use her hand-me-downs. #thejoyofbeingbig Anyways, in the box, was a green velvet nightgown/house dress. It was perfect. I sewed gold ribbon the collar and waist.
Green legs for Fiona DONE! Found green leggings at Target's Clearance rack for $6. Score!
Princess Stuff for Fiona DONE! Found awesome "Fall-Time" necklace on the Clearance table at Kohls for $9.80. For a necklace and earring set I will wear again? Not bad.
Rope Belt for Shrek DONE! Found some garden rope at Lowe's for $8. 
Bugs ans Such, Ogre Food DONE! Found chocolate eyeballs for Shrek to hand out at the party to all the little kids.
Green faces/chest, arms. DONE! Thanks to lots and lots of green face paint. The rick to washing it off was bar soap and warm water. 

***
Friday night, it was Shrek + Fiona at the Halloween Party. It was so fun that everyone got into the costumes. We had "Thing 1" and "Thing 2", five or six Batman's, a fairy, Red Riding Hood, some Zombies and more. I couldn't help but snap a picture of all the Batmans with the Riddle "captured" in the middle... even Alfred showed up!